In spite of the odds, in spite of other people’s better judgment. Who has any inkling why and how we operate? To think so is to be grossly mislead.
Don’ t put me on a pedestal; you will only have to knock me off it at a later date. Better to take me as I am, than to inflate what is deflatable. I follow the laws of physics; what goes up surely comes down.
Maybe I get better with age, less BS; more what you see is what you get. Fun. Language is fun. Farcical. Language is farcical. Maybe I don’ t want to write like that latter sentence. In fact, such sentimental displays discourage me is this all I can do is conduct trivial banter? I rather surf the waves, ride the hills anything but such triteness.
Why do we have to populate our solitude with enemies? Better to sit quietly following the intake of your breath for a seven second count. At the moment you think you can’t hold it, at that place where your brain is starved for oxygen and you feel heady naturally pull out the stops and breath in.
It’s like I want to save the world by eliminating any damage that I could cause. We are the world’s enemy. We are. But it can be otherwise, right? Sure we tell ourselves things but what have they actually done to change us. Can we be otherwise; are we set in stone? What is your nature?
In some way, I address myself to a limited public that demands of me much more than talent or genius. They want my blood, the very thing that pulses through my veins. I search out what escapes others. I am a cave dweller, future man will rummage in the dark with torches lighting what I left on the wall.
Fun to be grandiose, to write at the border of psychosis. What is it to be sane? we really don’t know what it means to be insane. Sure we can experience psychotic episodes, or near brush with death, but insanity is a one way ride.
Maybe we must grow up, take responsibility for the totality of our life. What does that mean? Not sure, I am working on a doctoral thesis but that is a lie but I thought you know I could tell you anything at this point and you might believe me. I was watching this film and the actor told this woman a tragic story than had sex with her; made me question the validity of his story or of any story.
All stories are spun yarn. What stories do you tell, have told? I can share one lie that I was able to act out. Having befriended a cluster of blind people drinking at a bar outside of New Orleans. Not sure how it happen but we were approached by this large group of girls and it was quickly assumed that I was blind because I was donning my then characteristic night shades. I played my part to the hilt with her trying to be my seeing eye dog as we weave our way through the city with great comic relief me knocking in to things, falling down, groping her breast. At some crazy juncture, I raised my glasses above the sockets of my eyes and peered into hers and said I am not blind. She slapped me so hard it knock the glasses off my face.